Since young, I treasure my friendship a lot. They understood me very well more than my family members. I never received much love from my immediate family and as well as my relatives. To me, friendship is the key necessary thing that I hold dearly. Along the years goes by, my perspective of friendship has changed because of what had happened in the past. I guess I was being naive even up till the age of 19. I wish I could turn back the clock and amend some things that I've made or not yet make. Yes, there were regrets... Sometimes in those days when I thought of them (my 3 closest friends) in my mind and looking through my photo albums which I printed them out, I can't hold back my tears. [Even as, I'm writing these out, my tear about to flow down.] When I think of them now, I'm no longer feel hurt but rather wounds and/or scars in me. All 3 incidents, left me despair. We are no longer the closest friends we can be and they had chosen not to contact me anymore. Our friendship just breaks into pieces by pieces.
My dear friend, if you lost your friend(s) and chose to cut any tied and friendship with you, always remember that we have Jesus who is our friend. He is ready to listen to all your complain, pain, and sorrow. If you cannot pleased for yourself, Jesus being the mediator pleasing for your account to God our Father against all enemies (Job 16:20-21). Just simply run towards His Out-Stretch arm and cry to Him. Our Lord Jesus is constant, He does no sin to harm us. He won't leave and abandon His friends. We, humans, make mistakes and we are not constant. That's why we hurt our friends and sometimes, without even knowing it. We can't depend so much on our earthy friends because we are not God who is perfect. I am not asking you to hold every friendship loosely, not every friend is unreliable and there is a real friend that sticks closer than a brother or sister (Proverbs 18:24).
Asking Spirit Himself to help you in your weakness, .... intercede for you with groanings that cannot be expressed in words
Here are ways to reconcile.
When fights take place we should give ourselves space or time out so that we can reflect on ourselves. Do make sure you and your friend are ready to meet up and truly, want to settle once and for all. The reason is you want to respect one another decision on whether or not to meet up. If both are ready, make sure that you prayed very hard for yourself. Then, gather together to talk things out with one of the same clique friends with the fellowship of the triune God being the center of the conversation. [Depend on the situation because not every situation can be settled alone through 1-1 conversion.] Asking the Spirit Himself to help you in your weakness, to guide your lips, and intercede for you with groanings that cannot be expressed in words – allowing the Father to search your hearts (Romans 8:26-27).
Note: Will be better if one volunteer to read out and pray according to these verses (if all of you are Christians) before starting the conversation.
As a follower of Jesus Christ, we are to make the first move no matter what the reason is.
DO NOT wait and think that another party will make the move to apologise to you. Trust me, it never happens. The more you seat on it, the chances are your friendship will be drifted away. He/she may find that you are not being sincere enough to want to apologise and will end up not wanting to forgive you. If your friend or another party doesn't want to meet up with you to settle the issues as I mentioned earlier, you can write an apology letter or an email to him/her.
As a follower of Jesus Christ, we are to make the first move no matter what the reason is. Jesus made the first move to die for us while we are still sinners (Romans 5:8). Likewise, on the cross, Jesus asked, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing"(Luke 23:24). Them here refers to the Roman soldiers who were gambling for His clothing (John 19:23–24, religious leaders who were mocking Him (Matthew 27:41–43), and the crowd who was blaspheming Him (Matthew 27:39).
Finally, after your heart is settled, do pray a short prayer over yourself for healing, restoration, and breakthrough. Not to forgot to bless the person while moving forward from the hurts (whether continue as a friend or separate your own way). Well, I would only say, I am still learning even now in my mid-20. These are things that I've learnt through the friends that I encountered.
God is gracious to provide me with a group of friends which we call ourselves 'Bros and Sis group' and 'Royal Priesthood'. He has restored and double what I had before after I lost my friends (Job 42:10). He knew I needed friends to stay by my side to share my problems and issues freely. To confess, I had failed them as well as a best friend, sister, fellow servant of God. Most importantly, as a daughter of God. I'm truly grateful (to them) that they have not left me since then.
I want to take this opportunity to apologise to some of you (whom I didn't have a chance) that I have broken the trust; wronged you; miss treated you; hurt you or not coming upfront to say sorry. I am very sorry!
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